First impressions - November 11-12 2017

In the lobby of the hotel, there were a few people hanging around but none of them stood out as obviously part of the tour. I mean, no one was holding an Orca stuffed animal or wearing a whale-shaped tuque. One lady seemed to be buzzing around a little bit more actively so I said "Annah?" and I was right. It was Annah Evington, our tour leader from Whaleswim Adventures.

I had discovered Whaleswim Adventures seven years earlier and did a 10-day tour in the Kingdom of Tonga to swim with Humpbacks. They run a terrific operation from New Zealand and Australia and this was their first excursion to Norway. I highly recommend that you check out their website.

Annah introduced me to some others as we waited for the rest of the group to coalesce. We’re a group of 13 people. I was the only Canadian, there were two Americans travelling together, another American lady currently living in Ireland and one solo Japanese man, the rest are Kiwis and Australian. Among the southern hemisphere folks, there is one couple and everyone else is travelling solo. Like me, these are adventurers that don't have anyone in their life crazy enough to do these extreme trips!

Two vans, one hauling a trailer pulled up and we met Norwegian Captain Olav and his first mate, Gijs from Holland. They loaded our gear and we made a quick stop to provision at the local liquor shop. When I saw the fancy bottles that the Australians were buying I was booze-shamed with my lame bag of rosé which I had thought would be such a great idea. So, peer pressure forced me to shell out for a bottle of Pineau des Charentes and 750 ml of locally produced Akkevit!

We made our way to the dock of the Sula: Legend of Orcas in Kjosen a 20 minute drive away. 

Kjosen harbour. Photo credit: Donna N.

Kjosen harbour. Photo credit Donna N.

Photo credit: Donna N.

The Sula is a a 90-foot boat which has been modified to accommodate eco-tourists on their Norwegian adventure. There are three decks. The top deck has the bridge, a washroom and some cabins. Down a very steep staircase which is basically a ladder, you access the main deck.

The main deck housed the galley and the lounge-dining area along with several cabins and another washroom. Forward on the main deck, you could exit through a heavy bulkhead door and see the area where wet gear was stored to dry, see down into the hold of equipment inventory and access the observation area or "crow's nest".

Here's a lousy video with my annoying voice

Another steep ladder led down to more passenger cabins and the crew area on the lower deck.

We enjoyed some cookies and fresh fruit while getting our room assignments and waiting for our bags to be unloaded from the trailer. We went around the room and introduced ourselves. It was so lovely to be among these people who have all had amazing adventures around the world. I saw videos and photos and heard stories of their previous encounters with all kinds of critters from Elephant Seals in Antarctica to actual Elephants in Asia. I’m definitely in a crowd of my peers because we are all passionate about marine mammals. We are all lovers of the sea and we all made this trip from far-away places.

The crew gave us a safety briefing and a trip plan followed by a presentation by French Orca Expert Pierre Robert de Latour explaining how we can safely and successfully approach the whales. Then we had a delicious dinner of ginger-marinated chicken breasts with coconut lime sauce, basmati rice and salad accompanied by a home-made bread prepared by Chef John and crew-member Felise from Sweden.

I shared a cabin with Christine from Australia. It’s a bit crowded when we are both trying to actively use the space at the same time but it’s manageable if we take turns. We have a porthole and lots of hooks and hanging rods as well as a cupboard for our stuff and space under the bottom bunk too. I was on the top bunk which is easy to mount but a little less easy to dismount...in the dark...while trying to be quiet. Oh well...part of the fun, that's my take on it!

360 degree cabin tour!

First night on the Sula was so warm that I slept on top of the covers and just used my silk sleeping bag. We were still berthed but the movement of the boat was perceptible and there was a two metre change in the water level due to the tide. A creaky gangway signalled every wave with a croaking groan but it added a sensory dimension to my memory of the first night of this trip.

I climbed down from the top bunk at 5:30 am and snagged the "best seat in the house" before rush hour then putzed around on the internet until 8:30 when Skipper Olav started the Sula on its journey. At 9 o'clock we enjoyed frittata with oatmeal and yogurt and some hard cheese and jam on homemade bread.

It was fleeting but we did see a cute pod of Orca this morning. Unfortunately, they were quickly surrounded by a fleet of 8 zodiacs full of whale watch day-trippers and our guide freaked out at how disrespectful of the whales' space they were. He said "I don't want to deal with this shit, let's find our own Orcas." so we began the 12 hour journey to the island of Skjervøya.

Breakfast rant

Norwegian Breakfast by Rodgers & Hammerstein:

Herring and Mackerel and Salmon and Kippers
Wiping the schmaltz from my lower and top lippers
Caviar from sturgeon with egg and a pickle
These are the things giving my tummy a tickle!

Wow. The breakfast included at the Scandic Ishavhotel in Tromsø is a little more robust than the staple Comfort Inn stale crescent rolls with sweaty scrambled eggs from a box.

There were row upon row of hotplates and manned stations. Waffles, omelettes, bacon & eggs, stewed mushrooms and stewed tomatoes, granola and muesli for days, a full salad bar with cold meats & cheeses and I swear a full bakery like at a store with everything from baguettes to rolls to at least 5 kinds of bread that you can slice yourself thick or thin to your preference.

Now to the fish:
There was smoked salmon, cured salmon, gravlax with a dijon mayonnaise "onnaside". Smoked mackerel which was smokin' good. Caviar from a toothpaste tube so it wasn't the quality stuff that Russian mobsters eat off a hooker's ass or whatever but did I mention BREAKFAST INCLUDED?

Herring could be had in so many styles -- pickled in wine vinegar (my favourite!), with a sweet mustard sauce that was new to me but really fantastic or with that gross cream sauce that personally, I cannot stomach but hey, one man's herring is another man's...uh, herring.

I'm sure I'm forgetting some varieties but it was too early to efficiently document the hentai fish buffet porn.

The night before, I had had the unfortunate experience of a strong smell of cigarettes infiltrating from the hallway. I was really confused and consulted my online reservation to make sure I had selected a non-smoking floor...in fact, the entire hotel was supposed to be non-smoking.

The people at the front desk let me know that they had been made aware of the issue on my floor and were handling it. Different countries have different customs and when groups of people travel, they don't always get the rules translated appropriately.

Still, I couldn't stay in my room with that smell so I ended up sitting in the lounge. Side benefit: trying the Scandinavian version of an Irish coffee made with Aquavit instead of whiskey. There was also a bit of orange zest blended into the cream so it really tasted bright.

Overall, despite the cigarette issue, I thought the hotel was a great value, had nice customer service and I loved the location. After breakfast, I consolidated my carry-on into my big rolling duffel bag, stored it at reception and checked-out.

I  bundled up and walked through the high-street of Tromsø. The whole city was covered in rainbow flags so it must have been Pride Week. I saw lots of kids with rainbow facepaint on their cheeks and plenty of LBGTQ folks readying their banners for a parade.

On the other side of town was a really beautiful museum of natural history and marine life called Polaris. It would have been a nice way to spend some time but honestly, knowing that I was about to spend a week at sea in their actual habitat, it seemed a bit silly to visit a brick and mortar representation. I've only heard great things about it though so definitely have a tour if you have the opportunity.

In the park, I found the regular kind of park bench which could seat up to four people in a pinch but they also had this cute little single serving model for solo park-sitters.

The main shopping mall was warm and crowded with Saturday shoppers ramping up for Jule (Christmas). I stopped into the wine store and picked up a bag of rosé. Yup, a bag of wine. I figured that on a rocky boat, it would be easier to deal with than a glass bottle not to mention space-saving and more lightweight to discard. Pack it in, pack it out! Credit cards were accepted everywhere in Norway including on the bus from the airport. I really appreciate that because I don't like using cash.

I tried my bank card at a local ATM and it worked perfectly but I didn’t withdraw any money (mostly because I didn't have any until my kind colleague back home ran the payroll.) It’s such a convenience to be able to travel cash-free but know that you can access it if necessary.

After dejectedly reading restaurant menu after restaurant menu hoping that my appetite would return after that insanely fishtastic breakfast, I gave up and returned to the hotel lobby to collect my bag and rendez-vous with my tour-mates at 2:30 pm.

Tromsø, Norway-Trip Report November 2017

After the super convenient Flybussen dropped me off outside, I made my way in to the Scandic Ishavhotel a bit earlier than check-in time. Luckily, my room was ready so I took the elevator up to the 5th floor and found the accommodation designed for a solo traveler.

I was pretty impressed with the large bay-window and view of the harbour.

Everything in the hotel comes from wind generated and hydro electric sources to be more green. There is a poster in my room saying "Is it windy and rainy? GOOD! Now you have lights and heat."

The garbage pail is divided into three sections for paper, organic and other materials. A kettle and tea fixings are provided along with free WiFi and a television which I never even touched.

The bathroom flooring has heated tiles which radiate to warm the whole area. I didn't take a picture because there are a bazillion mirrors in there reflecting my unkempt flesh as well as a prominent toilet. Ain't nobody need to see that!

I freshened up, had a little tea while enjoying the view until the hulking form of the red Hurtigruten ferry could be seen approaching the quay. I decided to go check it out.

Arctic, schmarctic. The temperature in Tromsø was quite mild and very similar to my home in Montreal  the day before. It was around 3 degrees Celsius. There was a bit of wind and some leftover snow patches from a recent dump but all in all, nothing special so I just wore my famous red scarf and put a down vest over my sweater.

On a recent broadcast of a French television show about touring this region of Norway, I learned that if you show ID, you can board the Hurtigruten boats to see the facilities while docked. This fleet is a hybrid cruise-ship/ferry boat serving both local commuters and tourists. There are at least two ferries per day and probably more during certain seasons. They go up and down the Norwegian coast transporting goods and passengers but they also have naturalists on board to explain the geological, astronomical and animal life that can be seen.

The ship was beautifully appointed. I peeked into some cabins from the the promenade deck and they were as nice as any stateroom.

The bar and restaurant looked inviting, there were lots of outdoor seating areas and a hot tub. They also organize land-tours at each stop for things like visiting a reindeer farm or dog-sledding. If I ever get back to Norway...and I really hope to, I'd love to take a Hurtigruten cruise!

From the bow and stern of the ship, I got to take some substandard photographs of the area around my hotel. I say that as a reminder that I SUCK HARDCORE at taking pictures! You will see the comparison between the blurry snaps above and the lovely images shared with me by people with talent. A caveat: if the picture is nice, I didn't take it. Please send all compliments to the person tagged in the credit!

See? This one was taken by Tony G. from Australia, a guy with talent, personality and kindness!

Thank you, Tony for this picture of the Hurtigruten ship

I returned back to my room to nap and enjoy the sunset at three in the afternoon. I forced myself out of bed at around 8 pm to see about getting some supper but got distracted by the faintly visible aurora in the sky. I found a bench and settled to take in the glittery city lights, the gently bobbing boats in the harbour and feel the chilly air redden my cheeks.

Instead of having dinner in a proper restaurant, I opted to grab a sandwich and holed back up in my room until morning. Of course, I dreamt of stars and mountains and great whales.

Why Norway is the place to be...I mean pee

Going potty in a foreign land can sometimes be challenging.

Besides the strange food and unfamiliar water wreaking havoc on your internal plumbing, the actual plumbing might be non-existent or completely incomprehensible. Japan's toilets can range from a hole in the floor that you're meant to squat over to a robotic bit of technology that warms, washes, fluffs, starches and folds your bottom.

Fear not, neo-vikings! Norway is a country of extremely civilized elimination.

Exhibit A: Oslo airport. After a Trans-Atlantic flight, a customs and immigration inspection and a secondary security check, this girl was ready to sit and think before getting onto the connecting flight to Tromsø.

To access the restrooms, you descend a level from the main concourse with all the shops and foofarah, so it's already quieter and the announcements are muted considerably in this area. You make your way into the tiled "ladies' room" and see no counters, sinks, noisy hand dryers or even people. There are just two rows of identical doors lining the walls.

Intriguing.

Each door has a tiny red/green slot to signify occupied or vacant. Red means stop, green means go! Much easier than the kick and listen system I've used on my many visits to New Jersey's finest purveyor of airport porcelain.

I found a green door and popped into an oasis of calm, Scandi sanity. Locking the door behind me, there was a decent-sized hook weight-rated to support a carry-on bag of Arctic outer-wear. There was a dispenser of sanitizing foam and wipes to schmear over any bacteria-laden surface in the room. There was a large mirror with a counter and a basin to do your ablutions and re-apply your make-up should you be so inclined and of course, the garbage bins had foot pedals so you needn't touch anything dirty with your hands.

The room was fully cloistered with ceiling to floor walls and door. It was probably bigger than an American prison cell. Once inside, you could not even have any idea at all if there were people waiting because it was totally soundproof. I've never seen anything like it. It was spotlessly clean, didn't smell of diapers or death and was pretty much the polar opposite of the chaos in Newark's Liberty airport.

Then, I get to Tromsø's main square and water-front only to discover this wonderful piece of architecture.

How cool is that? A public toilet shaped like a Rubik's cube with funky glass lines and glowing lights to guide you in when darkness falls by 15 hundred hours!

On the basis of my first pee-break alone, I fell in love with this country of Norway.

YUL-EWR-OSL-TOS

After five months of research, planning and shopping for the right gear, it was go-time.

It would be a long trip but I'm good at planning for my comfort. My staple travel outfit has served me well for at least 10 years. No joke. If the good people at the Montreal airport ever compiled the security camera footage of my departures, they would notice that I always wear the same damn thing.

It's a red t-shirt with a long black and white speckle print skirt both are made of lightweight, washable, quick-drying fabric . You can spill anything on this outfit and have the option of washing it and having it dry pretty much instantly or just rely on the trompe l'oeil pattern to mask any stains!

For cozy warmth, there was my ever-present red cashmere scarf which doubles as a travel pillow, a long sweater coat on top and underneath, thigh high ribbed cotton stockings. Stockings are better than tights or hose because logistically, airplane toilets are just not a fun place to have to deal with rolling out of and into sausage casing.

Because I was travelling to the Arctic and had two plane changes upping the risk of a possible luggage snafu, I made sure to have warm outer-wear in my carry-on but used a vacuum compression sac, a marvellous product from Eagle Creek to reduce the volume.

Two other travel essentials for me are a few clean bandannas and a bottle of hand-sanitizer. The bandannas can be used to cover your nose and mouth when coughing, when your seat-mate stinks of tunafish or to mop your sweaty brow rushing to your gate. The hand-sanitizer just freshens you up after touching all kinds of hand-rails, tray tables, touch-screens and surfaces previously baptised by the snot of a thousand toddlers.

The trip to the airport was uneventful as was the leg from Montreal to Newark. After navigating from terminal A to terminal B by monorail, my boarding pass was rejected at the security desk so I had to visit the quiet SAS check-in counter to get a new one. There was just enough time for me to grab a drink and a snack before boarding the flight to Oslo.

I took my window seat and settled in for the almost seven hour flight. I'm not sure exactly at what point the feeling came over me but I had a sudden sensation of discomfort. I felt hot and panicky. I felt constrained and claustrophobic. This has not ever happened to me on a plane before.

All I wanted to do was remove my clothes and get away from all the people trapping me.

It was time for a chat with my brain. So I says to my brain, I says : "Hey, brain! Why don'tcha just shuddup and relax, mkay? We are stuck here for awhile and if you go all ape-shit and require an air-marshall to duct-tape you into submission, it won't be fun for anybody!"

Reaching into my most auto-hypnotic inner-monologue, I just kept counting to four...over...and over...one-two-three-four...one-two-three-four...one-two-three-four and somehow fell asleep.

The feeling never returned again, thank goodness.

Arrival in Oslo was smooth and I excitedly described it in a quickie Facebook post to friends and family:

WOW! This place is even more Norwegian than I would have imagined. In this globalized world, you usually see the same airport layouts pretty much where ever you go. There are similarities here but big differences too. OSL is literally green with gorgeous walls of potted tropical plants warming up the...wait for it...Norwegian Wood.

For serious, the flooring, the walls, the banisters and even the electronic security gateways have some form of lovely naturally finished wood.

It's also the quietest airport I've come across since visiting Japan. Newark on the other hand is so obnoxiously loud. The TSA agents barking out barely comprehensible instructions to weary ESL passengers is totally unnecessary. How about a few multilingual assistants to go down the line and quietly offer help like they have here?

Anyway, the other really cool thing is the FISH! Nothing like disembarking a 6 hour flight to find offerings of open faced salmon, caviar, egg & pickle sandwiches at 8 am. I'm not being sarcastic, to me, that is heavenly. Too bad I'm not hungry because SAS served TWO meals on the flight from EWR and I couldn't even finish one.

Oh, and anyone need a reindeer pelt? I can hook you up. They have cool Elk chorizo but I doubt I'd be allowed to bring that home. I'll check in again when I get to Tromsø.

It was surprising that it was a 737 from Oslo to Tromsø because I had imagined a tiny Dash-8 propeller plane. My destination wasn't some little Nowheresville it is a really big city and a popular place to visit.

It didn't take long for my baggage to come around the carousel and there were free buggies to use which I always appreciate. 5 dollar American "SmarteCartes" are actually TrèsStupides. BOO!

My pre-planning attempts did fail here though. I had researched the "flybussen" routes from the airport to the hotel and even bought a ticket using my credit card before leaving home. Unfortunately, the bus driver refused my ticket and said it was for a different bus company that he hadn't seen do a pickup all day! He suggested that I either call them directly or he would charge me half price and that I should get a refund from their company. Oh well, it was only 8 dollars, no biggie. The driver was so nice but I had no local currency with which to tip him so I wrote a glowing and thankful email to his company when I got to my hotel.

The bus ride was really cool. We went through a huge tunnel, so big that it even has a roundabout inside to connect all the intersecting directions. Emerging from the tunnel, we ended up downtown which is has a few main streets radiating up a hill from the waterfront. There is one main shopping mall and lots of hotels and individual stores in the area. I got dropped off right in front of my hotel and trundled my duffel to the front desk ready to experience Norwegian hospitality!