Sweet and Sour but Safe, Tokyo to Osaka, Japan - February 26-28, 2014

It was sad to leave Gora Tensui Ryokan but before heading to the train, I thanked the manager and let him know how special this stay had been for me.

Originally, my intent had been to walk around the village sampling the local food but after the gargantuan breakfast I'd just consumed, it was unwise to do so.

Instead, I just enjoyed window shopping and people watching in the crisp air. It was sunny and beautiful. Older ladies in traditional dress and thong sandals with thick socks walked beside teens tottering along the snowy streets in high heels. Many people carried huge shopping bags of recent purchases from the stores.

By now, I was an expert at using the train ticket vending machines and effortlessly coaxed my proof of payment out of the slot.

Here is a movie of the trip back on the Hakone-Tozan train. I tried to capture examples of the winding ride, the tunnels and the switchback. Note the distinctive building with the red roof…first we approach and then we go away from it but on a different track. The variety of trees is also notable. You can see so many kinds together and the snow is also really special.

I was back to Odawara around an hour later. The lady at the bullet train ticket window offered me a reserved seat which was a little more expensive but worth it if the non-reserved section was full. 

There was a shopping center attached to the station so I poked around there while waiting for the bullet train back to Tokyo. In a drugstore, the shop clerks helped me find some shampoo and toothpaste for my friend Tomoka who misses her favourite Japanese brands while in Canada.

Japan is such a safe and trustworthy place. Check out the booze not locked up behind a grate or right beside the cash. And the snacks! I love little fishies with the heads still on!

Then, I went to the departure platform and found the section to wait for my car #11 seat 7E.

A father and his little boy of two or three had purchased a ticket to nowhere. Bullet trains are exciting to watch for people of all ages! In Odawara, many trains simply rush through without stopping. For this reason, families and photographers can purchase a pass to sit on the platform and watch without ever boarding a train.

The little boy would call out "kita!" (It's coming!) When the train headlight would appear far in the distance. The dad would position his iPad to film the train rushing past with the kid going bonkers with joy. Then the kid would say "Nozomi datta!" or "Kodama datta!" (That was the Nozomi Train! That was the Kodama Train!)

It was really cute and the dad seemed to enjoy it too.

After boarding, the conductor entered my car, he gave a deep bow before punching the passengers' tickets.

Once back in Tokyo, I caught the city bus back to the port. Two unaccompanied little schoolgirls boarded the bus in their sailor-suit uniforms. I swear, the older one was not more than six or seven and the younger one looked about five years old!

The older girl disembarked after a few stops leaving the little one alone sitting behind me. As the bus emptied out along the way to the port terminal, only a few passengers remained. Myself, an old man, the little girl and a few businessmen.

Ding! A businessman sounded the stop request bell and went to speak to the driver as he left the bus. He gestured towards the back of the bus where the little girl sat.

The bus driver called out something like "Are you okay, sweetheart?" and in the most adorable voice ever, she quietly answered. "Yes, I get off at XXX, street" which just happened to be the penultimate stop. I watched as she dawdled to the exit in typical five-year-old fashion. She was just so cute with her bus-pass wallet dragging on the ground from its coiled tether attached to her back-pack.

I have no idea what makes these kids so particularly sweet but they just are and they are perfectly safe even in a great big city like Tokyo. It is a place like no other and in my lifetime, I'll be sure to return many times.

Back onboard Azamara Journey, I was up top listening to the taiko drummers entertaining the crowd before the push-off. This time, they were doing pop songs from Queen and Michael Jackson rather than traditional music. When I got chilly, I came inside to check out the menus for the two specialty restaurants on deck 10.

I must say that the premium vodka and caviar was a little dear! One spoonful of caviar ranged in price from $50 to $175!

Just then, the captain made an important announcement and we learned about the propeller damage that would ultimately cut the trip short. Reactions ranged from anger to confusion and concern.

For me, it changed nothing. The cruise line handled it professionally and did everything they could to compensate us for the inconvenience. I have no complaints but a certain subset of the passengers took it very badly and became abusive to the staff.

We learned more about the damage the next day. As we arrived in Tokyo, the crew had noticed unusual vibrations.

They called in a dive team to take underwater photographs which revealed wire leads and fishing netting tangled around the port side propeller. Both the screw and the shaft were damaged and needed to be repaired in dry dock.

According to the Captain, the Japanese Coast Guard deemed the Journey seaworthy operating on a single propeller but we had to be tugged out of our berth in Tokyo.

We cruised at a slower pace to Osaka, which had two side effects.

Unfortunately, we could not out-maneuver some weather. Seas became rough and the ship got tossed around a bit.

Except for me and a few experienced sailors in the dining room, that night was pretty quiet at supper. It was difficult to walk around. More than once, we heard the noise of things crashing to the ground from trays and counters.

At one point, it felt like the sea had evaporated from beneath us. We just dipped suddenly as though we had gone over the first hill of a roller coaster. Lots of people screamed. I got a major tummy flip! The next day, Captain Jason explained that it was due to a quick turn in order to avoid traffic in the busy passage from Tokyo to Osaka.

Needless to say, I had a great sleep rocked on the waves in my luxury cradle.

The second result of the slow pace was a big delay. In reality though, there was a benefit. We got to see all the little fishing boats and the gorgeous Wakayama Prefecture coast during daylight. We even spotted a submarine cruising along the surface! That was unusual and very cool!

Mentally, I could feel the vitality in myself for the first time in a long while. This was the tipping point where I knew that I'd come through the worst of my depression. The propeller damage in my own brain had been healed by a little dry-dock away from work and lots of help from some loving tug-boats, my family and friends.

Breakfast in Japan - February 26, 2014

The bed in my room was extremely comfortable and I even did another late-night soak in the 4th floor rotenburo. In the morning, I made green tea in my room and read about the local attractions while sitting in front of the huge picture window and beautiful winter scenery.

At five minutes to eight, I went to the dining room for breakfast. At check-in, I had asked the staff to please make sure that I got a traditional Japanese breakfast rather than a western-style breakfast.

Boy! Did they ever deliver! They had even honoured my request for natto!

What is natto? Well, to start, it is a popular morning meal in Japan. Nothing that you would normally order in a fancy restaurant but something you get at the grocery store to eat at home or grab at the corner deli on your way to work Natto would be comparable to Raisin Bran or an Egg Mcmuffin.

Imagine fermented soy beans but not mashed up into miso paste yet. When you stir the natto, it releases a  coating...something like gooey melted cheese but very fine in texture.

As you lift the beans out of the bowl, the strands of goo stretch and stretch and never seem to break. It's like trying to eat spider webs!

You get all kinds of toppings to mix into your natto. The waitress demonstrated and used the onomatopoetic expression "guru-guru" to show me how to stir them in "round-round."

Most foreigners describe the taste of natto as "inedible" or "disgusting" so obviously, I needed to get some in my belly!

For my first bite, I tried it plain. It was strong-tasting, similar to miso paste right from the container. For me, that is something that I am familiar with and rather enjoy! It wasn't yucky or sour like I feared.

However, the texture was definitely difficult to adjust to. As I mentioned, the consistency of the beans changes as you stir. The natto residue (I don't want to call it slime but that might best describe it) pulls like taffy.

It makes long strands that end up trailing from your chin, your chopsticks, your bowl and makes you wish that it was considered polite to use your oshibori to wipe your face.

I managed and delighted myself by gradually mixing in the toppings: chopped green onion, miso paste, chopped pickles, mustard, some kind of sauce and bonito flakes which just made it more delicious.

I couldn't stop thanking my waiter for the special effort that he made. Ordering natto in this hotel was like asking for a bag of chips to be served on a silver platter in the dining room. They understood that it was important to me, though. Everyone was so kind and wanting to go out of their way to please.

Don't forget...there was more breakfast:

Baby prawns with hijiki seaweed served in an egg cup.

Shirasu (dried anchovy minnows) with grated daikon radish.

Konnyaku (a special kind of mountain potato with a texture like tofu) in a bowl.

Pickles including umeboshi (pickled Japanese plum.) Which tasted deliciously of cedar. It must be pickled in wood! Confirmed! It was pickled with salt and the red shiso leaf. Yum!

Sashimi white fish with wasabi and those red peppery shiso sprouts plus a dipping sauce.

Nori in a wood box warmed by heated pumice stones served with dipping sauce.

Tofu cakes with spinach in an egg drop soup.

Salmon with grilled mozzarella cheese and jalapeño mayonnaise?? Wow! I must be dreaming.

Miso soup

Here is a picture of the natto fixin's before they got guru-guru'ed.

There were also steamed veggies: broccoli, spinach, carrot, red and yellow flesh potatoes plus an outrageous and bizarre combination... English bacon with a poached egg.

Of course there were two kinds of tea served with the meal and I was invited to take coffee served in unique pottery mugs and a mango/raspberry mint palate cleanser at the bar.

Please see the attached photo of the post-meal crockery and understand why I have gained eleventy-seven pounds this trip!

Checkout was sad but quick and easy. All staff were as sweet as if I had been staying in their home. I will never, ever forget this incredible experience staying at the Gora Tensui Ryokan.

Solo Travel: Check-In Time for your Brain

One of the biggest challenges of mental illness or depression is having a point of reference.

Everyone will ask: How do you feel?

How in the Hell do you know? How can you tell if the meds are having an effect and more importantly, how do you know if the effect is an improvement?

You can't unless you really know yourself to begin with and in my case…I really didn't. The compass governing my own needs was a little askew.

Over the years, the importance that I had placed on my career and my partner chiseled away at my own self-worth. It was as though the only way I could feel accomplishment was through the feedback of others like my boss or my husband.

This led to a complete disconnect between my perception of what was going on and what was really going on. Even though my attitude was cocky and self-assured, there was constant worry that I would be "found-out" as incompetent if my work had errors.

In my marriage, the friendship was strong but the conjugal bond was not and I sought approval from yet another source to bolster that feeling of acceptance. Inevitably, something had to give. We separated amicably but it destroyed me.

In that scramble to re-format my life, I isolated myself from all of my closest friends. I chose to take a new, higher-paying job with more responsibility and that only drained me more. All my time was spent at work trying to beat the learning curve into submission. The unrealistic candidate-interview promises I had made were always weighing on my mind. I thought I could be better than any employee ever seen…and I sabotaged myself every step of the way by never allowing myself time to rest.

After one year, exhaustion set in. Insomnia caused by some hormonal imbalance stirred the pot and lord only knows which chicken brooded the anxiety or which egg hatched into the major depression.

Why have I chosen to put all that personal crap on a travel blog? Because for me, the way out of the depression was to be kind to myself and to live in the moment. 

All of the psychology gurus in Cognitive Behaviour Therapy and Dialectical Behaviour Therapy suggest ways of getting there. Many of their treatments pre-suppose a familiarity with self that I just didn't have but one technique that I did know made me "at one with myself" was traveling alone.

Obviously, this won't work for everyone and this is not medical advice, it's just me sharing my experience. Here is the framework.

In every day life we are surrounded by people with expectations. We strive to please them and to delight them and feel that they deserve our full attention. We compromise all the time in order to make things run more smoothly.

Take all of that away

Toss your alarm clock. Eat exactly what you want without consulting another human being for their opinion. Do not feel any kind of obligation. Have the freedom to be wrong without the fear of disappointing somebody else. Change your mind. Change it again and see that doing so has little to no impact.

Be in the moment

You might never have the chance to visit this place again. While you are HERE, don't be THERE and don't be THEN and don't be TOMORROW, be taking in your surroundings mindfully. It's easier to do this in a strange place, but the real trick is learning to do it every day. Practice.

Get to know your heretofore neglected self

So if you're on a trip, (assuming you've caught your plane/train/bus and don't have any more time-sensitive constraints) you wake up and it is just you. Open your eyes. There is no one beside you to laugh at your bed-head or cringe at your morning-breath. Roll over and sleep some more…if you feel like it. Get some breakfast…if you feel like it. Look out the window and see what there is to see…if you feel like it.

You get to know what you feel like pretty quickly because you are NEVER worrying about what somebody else might want. 

Those little weird little hobbies that you might have can be fully enjoyed. Go spend hours scouring antique shops for doll-house furniture. Visit that museum of doilies. Take a ride on a miniature replica of an 1880s steam train. 

Be kind to yourself

As you travel and discover these places you choose what to do and generally, you don't spend a lot of time doing things that don't interest you. Conversely, don't fall into the trap of feeling guilty that you AREN'T doing something. Sometimes a body is tired. It's okay if you decide to stay in the hotel watching Being John Malkovitch for the sixth time. It's okay even if you're in Bangkok. The night market will still be there tomorrow.

Get over your anxiety by feeling some anxiety

The other thing you can and should do when traveling is GET LOST. Feel the scary feeling and get over it. Isn't that what Exposure Therapy is all about? If you are alone, it actually feels really good to have that sensation of finding your way back. If you're with someone, the lost feeling is often supplanted by the worry that you've inconvenienced or even put the other person at risk. The sense of self-accomplishment at navigating to your destination is muted by the relief that the other person won't be mad at you.

It goes without saying that you should take normal safety precautions. Going down dark alleys wearing tons of flashy jewellery is crazy, not therapeutic. 

Get out of your environment

Learn other cultures. It is surprising how deeply we believe that the way we do things in our home country is the only or the best way. When you travel outside of your own sphere and discover the practices and values of the rest of the world it is very effective at re-orienting your broken head from its wrong-thinking.

I guess the last thing I want to mention is that you will get some resistance from the people in your inner circle that care for you. They worry too. Talk to them and explain that escaping in travel is not necessarily escaping your problems or escaping reality. If you reassure them that you will stay in touch, that you will seek help if things get rough and that you have a wish to come home at the end of the trip, you'll have a better chance of convincing them.

Naha City, Okinawa Island, Japan - February 22, 2014

In the morning, I showered and changed because I looked like I had spent the night on deck...well, actually, I had spent the night on deck.

The whale watching tour  that I had booked and prepaid from home only met at 13:15 so I had the morning to explore on my own. The weather was sunny and warm with a 60% chance of snorkeling. My trusty gear was locked and loaded just in case.

Leaving the ship, I could hear drums banging. It was local entertainers in bright costumes there to welcome us to Naha, Okinawa. Onboard, the Japanese customs enforcers guarded against cruise ship sandwiches and fruit coming ashore.

Descending the gangway, I could see that besides the drummers, there were singers and a little girl handing out photo postcards as a gift.

There was also a local beauty pageant winner (She might have been the mayor but she wore a sash) posing for pictures with passengers.

I asked a guide in Japanese where the information booth was and she answered me in English. Oh, well…at least I try.

The information booth was chaotic. Only three agents were on hand plus a guy doing currency exchange. As I was politely waiting my turn and was next in line to be served, this gigantic Russian-speaking man pushed in front of me to grab some maps and literature. When he did not immediately step away from the table I got uncharacteristically assertive.

"SIR..I have been waiting in line, you can do the same." and he sheepishly walked away. Seriously, I had spent so long waiting in line. I found it disrespectful. I had worked out all the details preparing for this trip in a short amount of time and others were expecting to have a five star hotel concierge to plan their tour for free as soon as they got off the ship! Well, the Japanese guides were happy to do this which is why it took so long for it to be my turn.

All that I needed was to be oriented out of the port area, understand which direction was north and see if they knew whether Naminoue Beach was open to the public in February. Finally, a nice curly-haired Japanese lady stepped over to assist me. I pointed to my curly hair then politely gestured to her and said "Watashi no imotoo desu ka?" (Are you my little sister?)

That got a laugh, I got the information and I was off in a minute or two.

The route was over an elevated highway but there was a pedestrian walkway so it was safe. Okinawa looks surprisingly a lot like Miami Beach with bridges and causeways as far as the eye can see.

Naha Port, Okinawa, Japan

After a short walk, Naminoue beach came into view. What a great little place! Sure, it's under a busy overpass and not far from a major port but the sand looked clean and soft, the water was crystal clear blue revealing rocks and coral below the surface aaaand it was also padlocked shut.

Naminoue Beach-closed when I visited in February

View from overpass of Naminoue swimming area

Waaaah! Trust me, my next visit will not be in February. All was not lost. Using my super-katakana-reading skills...I discovered that the Subway sandwich place in an adjacent hotel lobby offered free internet and massage chairs? Yup, welcome to Japan, people!

Hungry because it had been ten minutes since my last meal, I entered the Subway which looks exactly like any Subway in any city anywhere...except for the garbage bins which I will describe later.

I selected the chicken and cheese sandwich, was delighted to learn that white bread is called "Wa-i-to" rather than "shiroi no pan" and then came the toppings. There was a picture chart showing onions, olives, lettuce etc.

I didn't want any of those things just tomatoes and green pepper (to-ma-to & pi-men-to) so that's what I said. I watched the server slather an unholy amount of mayonnaise on my sandwich...I didn't recall asking for it but mayonnaise is extremely popular in Japan so I didn't complain.

I got busy counting out my 100 yen coins to pay for my sandwich and noticed the plastic tray where I should put them.

Another successful experience in Japan, I thought proudly to myself...until I unwrapped the paper and found a garden full of lettuce and olives and onions. What the heck? I squinted back at the topping picture chart to see if it said "Hold the XXX..." I didn't see that but I learned that is the subtle difference between Japanese and Canadian Subway restaurants! Now you know, too! (Postscript…my Japanese friend Tomoka says this is not the case. The jury is still out on Japanese Topping Protocol! Please comment with your observations.)

I used the free internet but never found the massage chairs. I tidied the lunch tray and carried it over to the trash bin. Uh oh...three separate areas labeled in kanji with rather unhelpful pictograms.

I am sure it said something like metal/glass, paper, organic but which was which? I must have stared at the kanji for a whole minute looking for one that I recognized. I would have recognized "metal" or "paper" but I have to study what "glass" would be. I took my best guess and hurried back to the taxi stand near the ship before the garbage police could catch me.

Whales, Whales, Whales!

We love them! We make new-age tunes with them, and in my case, we spend lotsa money on 'em. Back in October, 2010 I took a trip-of-a-lifetime to Vava'u, Tonga and spent a week and a half snorkeling with Humpbacks.

We were able to get into the water with the mothers, the babies and their male escorts practically every day. It would not be an exaggeration to say that I had whales all up in my grill.

Here's lookin' at you, kid!-Vava'u 2010 photo credit:LAUREN

I had used Whaleswim Adventures and yes, there will be blog entries about it…better late than never!

Of course, it would be difficult to top an experience like that but I'm still really fascinated by cetaceans and so are a lot of the whale-crazy people I've met. I'm talking to you, Blubber-Girl Gillian. Oh, she's not blubber as in fat…she cries when she sees or hears the whales. *ahem* I'm one to talk…wait until you read about my arrival in Tokyo!

I had prepared a Google map to the SEASIR MARINE HOUSE dive shop hosting the whale-watching tour with the address as well as directions in Japanese. It was perfectly clear. I even read the address to the driver and offered him a GPS coordinates code but he was acting like he had no idea where the place was.

I could see a water tower landmark that I knew was close to the place (thanks again, +Google Maps street view!) and guided the driver towards there. We found it with no trouble. Japanese drivers will not take a tip so I am the proud owner of some very small denomination coins. Looks like someone is going to get more vending machine goodies!

English-speaking guides greeted me at the shop and handled the process of validating my prepayment and liability release. I got the most adorable admission ticket ever...it is a child's crayon drawing of a humpback whale. Kawaii! Cute!!

The whale watching boat was actually a huge scuba diving boat with several showers and changing rooms. It would have to be the nicest dive boat I have ever seen. We did see whales but nothing like in Tonga...that trip spoiled me! The boat would basically speed in the direction of the spouting whales and approach just in time to see flukes popping out of the water in classic "Deep Dive" posture. Then we would wait twenty-thirty minutes for another opportunity. In my opinion, it was a bit aggressive and exploitative to the whales. I spent most of the trip talking to the friendly guide.

Lots of people on the boat got seasick but the staff were prepared for it and took care of everyone. The operation was extremely professional and they even offered a refund if we did not see whales. That probably would explain why they were so ready to chase them. It was a three hour trip and by the time we were done, I was ready for supper.

Regretfully, I didn't feel like going to see Kokusaidori which is the main drag for shopping and entertainment in Naha City. Instead, I just had a shower and changed for dinner in the main dining room.